Today was a hard day. I’m just going to be honest right now. It may not be pretty or a fun blog to read, but I’m doing it.
I hate mud!!! Especially when it smells like butt. I’m so tired of rain. I am tired of having to put a tarp on my tent every time it looks like it’s about to rain. I’m tired of people coming here and getting upset when things don’t go perfectly or when nothing is on time. I’m tired of people dumping their responsibilities on me. And not knowing how to communicate, so I just take it. I’m tired of miscommunication every single day! I would love to be able to take a whole shower and not have someone else in the bathroom with me. I’m tired of people blaming me for things not my fault. I wish people would step up and take responsibility for their mistakes. I wish we could all be adults and clean up our stuff. I wish that people would realize we are a baby base and make mistakes and not get their panties in a twist. I hate mosquitoes and don’t anyone dare tell me they are one of God’s creations or I might reach through the computer world and punch you in the throat. I hate ringworm and pimples and this outbreak on my lips. I don’t like goodbyes.
I love the kids at this orphanage. I love the kids at Lifeline that I briefly got to see today. I love most of the people I work with on this base. I loved having three of my really good friends here from Orlando the last three weeks. It sucked saying goodbye to them today. Then I had one of the worst days since I’ve been here. I don’t like it when people compare us to the base in St. Marc. We are not trying to be them or be just like them. I feel like I haven’t been able to process the last 6 weeks very well. And don’t know how to do it in a good way. I love impacting people's lives. I am glad God has called me here to be a servant at this base. I understand that I said, "Here I am, Lord, send me." and that that might not always be the easiest thing. In fact, most days, it probably will be hard. I believe that God is going to make me water, so that I can just flow with what comes at me, and not let things affect me when they are thrown at me. Please pray for me….
Good post. I like honesty. There are definitely days that I feel like that too! Lord, I pray that you would encourage Leah. Refresh her by Your Spirit. Let her receive grace to deal with all the bummers, like mud and mosquitos and people's immaturity, and to rejoice in the blessings. Help her be like a duck, all the rain and wet and bad attitudes rolling right off her. Let her character grow deeply rooted in Your character so that she can handle the messy day-to-day interactions with other people with humor and grace. In Your name, Jesus, amen.
ReplyDeleteLove you, Leah! I enjoy your updates.